Changes

Well this week so far so good. Ate well and stuck to exercise plan. Just taking it one day at a time.

I need to do this, i cannot go on like this anymore. Always tired, always depressed. Using humour as a mask.

I hate social situations now, i used to love it- going out with friends but now i'm actually scared of it. You know you have a problem when you try to avoid seeing your friends- the people you love! But i just can't shake it. I need to change. Yes for myself more than anything but also for others. I want my friends to have their happy bubbly friend back, i want Phil to have a sexy girlfriend who he is proud of. I want my parents to be proud.

I'm feeling really motivated now and i need to keep that topped up. I have as i mentioned in the last post ordered some books which will help. Also ordered Believe It, Be It: How Being the Biggest Loser Won Me Back My Life by Ali Vincent. She won season 5 of The Biggest loser and she really inspires me along with Tara Costa who won season 7.

I want to be that person who loves exercise and is fit, toned and healthy. So i can do things i can only dream about now.

Maybe a trek, like the wall of china or the inca trail. So one day i have stories to tell. So that when i leave this earth i have more to reflect on than well - i ate a lot, stayed in al the time, sat on the sofa, tried this diet, that diet, oh i couldn't do that because i was too fat.......

This is why i have to change.....

In the words of Ali Vincent... "Be it, Believe it"